AMH-Bomb

After recovering from the mock embryo transfer, I ended up going to work the next day.  Being busy helps me keep my mind off of counting the days until egg retrieval.  At about 4pm, work was winding down and I was going to head home when the phone rang.  My least favorite digits popped up.  It was SGF.


(my mood is changing a bit, forgive the ugly photo)

The nurse was calling.  I wasn't surprised; I'd emailed her earlier in the day with a few questions.  Before getting to those she said, "Your infectious disease blood work came back clear.  Your husband's did too.  But, your AMH level is very low."  My what?!?  Turns out AMH stands for Anti-Müllerian hormone.   Research has shown that the hormone level can be used as an indicator for what's left in a woman's egg reserve.  I didn't think I'd ever heard of it.  I don't even recall that anyone told me they were testing mine.  The nurse proceeded to answer all the questions I'd emailed.  I wasn't listening.  I was still thinking about my hormone level.  So, I interrupted, "Um, I think I'm worried about the AMH."  The nurse offered this in consolation, "Well, the doctor still wants to move forward."  Again...What?!? I didn't even know that was in jeopardy!  My heart sank, my stomach was in my throat, and my brain was spinning.  An AMH-bomb had been dropped.  Even though my lack of reserve has nothing to do with the nurse, I didn't feel like talking to a bomb dropper anymore.  I abruptly ended the call despite wanting to know more.  Evil ol' google would have to inform me.  I typed in "very low AMH."  No help there; just bad news from sad people on blogs.  Then I called my husband.  He told me to come home because I sounded like  I needed a hug.  I left the office, but not before foolishly doing some more pointless googling.  By then, I was desperate for that hug.



My level is .017.  I have yet to find a chart that even lists this number.  "Very low" is considered 0.3.  The doctors wanted to see a 1.0.  I just wasn't expecting this bit of bad news.  I'm a healthy, active person who eats pretty well and has never had a major medical issue.  How could I be on the verge of running out of eggs?  I started wondering if marathoning and stress and age caused my eggs to vanish.  I wondered a lot of things.  Wondering got me nowhere.  I moped around for a little over a day and then allowed my husbands words to sink in, "this is just one aspect,"  and "tests aren't always accurate," and "we're going to be okay."  Everything he said is true.  He continues to be my savior in all of this.


**This is not an actual photo of my husband.

What I've gathered is that an off the charts low AMH may mean my ovaries won't respond to IVF ... they may not give up multiple eggs from my farm (sounds cuter than reserve).  Doctors like a lot of eggs because it gives them more to fertilize and the more they fertilize the more likely they are to get good ones to reach embryo stage.  Furthermore, if IVF round one doesn't work (it will!  it will!!) and there are extra eggs, they can be frozen and used for round 2.  The bonus of embryos on ice is that you can avoid taking all the drugs again (btw, I got a glimpse of those today ... I felt like I was on fear factor).  We'll just have to wait and see what happens.  For now, I'm putting more thought into what people have said to me, "It only takes one!"  Right!  I don't need a basket full.  Just one Grade A egg lucky enough to live.